Whatever It Takes
by Hopeless Dreamer28
Summary: She knows one weekend up here won't fix everything, but they have to start somewhere. Kate takes Castle with her to her father's cabin for a weekend getaway, Post Ep for Watershed 5x24.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- This is my first multi chapter so I am really nervous about posting this. It will be short, at least 3 chapters so I hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks goes to my amazing Beta Dmarx**

**Disclaimer- I Do Not Own Castle**

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I'll do whatever it takes  
To turn this around  
I know what's at stake  
I know that I've let you down  
And if you give me a chance  
Believe that I can change  
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

Whatever It Takes by Lifehouse

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Kate pulls the Mercedes onto the familiar tree lined- dirt road. The drive up here had been quiet-a little too quiet, but then again things have not exactly been the same since he found out she had lied to him about the job offer. She couldn't fault him for being angry though. Even though she had never wanted the job, the opportunity had come at a time when things were really getting serious and comfortable with Castle, and it scared the hell out of her. And this job gave her a way out, a means to run, and she almost destroyed the best thing in her life in the process. And turning down his proposal had not helped things either. She had wanted to say yes, had almost said yes, but realized it was not the right time. They both were nowhere near ready for it. There were still issues they need to work on, things they needed to talk about first- things both of them have long avoided- and that's why they are here at her father's cabin for the weekend. She knows one weekend up here won't fix everything, but they have to start somewhere. As she continues to drive, the cabin comes into view. It's in a serene location sits facing a lake, shaded by a large oak tree on the far end.

As Kate parks the car, Castle is the first to get out. "Nice place." he states nonchalantly, taking off his sunglasses and taking a closer look at the cabin. It's a simple one- story rustic cabin and not at all what he had pictured. Four small steps lead up to the front porch, which runs the length of the cabin, covered by an overhanging roof that shields it from the summer rain and winter snow. A swing is located at the right end of the porch and two rocking chairs sit idly on the opposite end.

"So would you like the grand tour?" she asks.

He turns to her, lips curved into a small smile. "I would love that."

She goes over to him grabs his right hand, and tugs him toward the cabin. They step up to the front porch and she pulls out her key from her jeans pocket and unlocks the door. Castle follows her inside, and looking around he notices the interior matches the outside. It's simple and homey. The living room consists of a stone fireplace, a couch that has seen better days, a leather recliner, and a TV sits in the corner. The living room opens to a small kitchen, with a dining area to the right that's complete with a small round table and two chairs. Next they head down a small hallway that leads to a bathroom slash laundry room, and next to that is the master bedroom, which is where Castle assumes Jim sleeps when he comes up here. And across from the master suite is the other bedroom, where they will be sleeping. As Kate opens the door, Castle goes in first. It's a nice, cozy bedroom. The bed sits against the wall, facing a window that looks out over the lake.

"Nice view," he states while walking over and looking out the window.

"Yeah," she says with a smile.

Silence falls between them then and she studies him, notices how his muscles are tense, posture rigid as he fidgets with his sunglasses.

"Are we okay?" the words suddenly slip through her mouth before she can stop herself.

He looks up at her, lips for a tight lipped smile, "Yeah. Why?"

She shrugs, "I just get the feeling that we're not. I mean if this is about me saying no to your proposal, I want you to know that even though I said no doesn't mean I don't want to marry you. Because I do. It's just that we're both not ready now, and I want you to do it for the right reasons, not because you're afraid of losing me."

He sighs heavily, runs his hand through his hair, then sits on the edge of the bed that faces the window, "It's not that Kate. It's just…" he trails off.

"What?" she waits, but he doesn't say anything, "Castle?"

When he finally speaks his voice is calm but anger laces every word, "What you did, hurt and I'm sorry but I just can't go on and pretend like it didn't happen."

"I'm not asking you to."

She crosses the room to stand in front of him, but he still won't look at her. She can see the hurt etched on his face and it sends her heart shattering into a million pieces, steals the air from her lungs.

"Look you have every right to be angry with me. What I did was inexcusable, and I am sorry."

He gazes up at her then and this time when he speaks his voice calm and even, "I just don't think you get it Kate. We're in this relationship now and it's not just about you anymore. It's about the both of us. I want this this relationship to work but-"his voice trails off.

"I want it to work too. And I'll do whatever it takes to make it work."

Their eyes meet, and his eyes once so blue and full of nothing but love for her, are now full of hurt and betrayal, and she hates herself for doing this to him. She leans in, her mouth hovers over his, her warm breath washing over his lips. Her eyes slip close as her lips brush against his but almost immediately he turns away.

"I need to go unpack the car," he says simply as he pushes up off the bed and heads for the door.

"Castle!" She calls out after him, but he ignores her and she watches him disappear leaving her alone in the room.

She heaves a sigh, and collapses onto the bed. She runs her fingers through her hair, and leans forward, hands resting on her knees. She silently wonders to herself if she will be able to fix this mess she's made.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Sorry bout the long wait I had planned on posting this a lot sooner but I wound up getting writer's block, but you shouldn't have to wait too long for the next chapter because I already have over half of it written. Special Thanks to my Beta DMarx I couldn't do this without you.**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Castle**

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She goes out and helps him unload the car, and while he takes the suitcases back to the bedroom to unpack their clothes, she heads to the kitchen to start cooking them some dinner. She decides on spaghetti since it's quick and easy and will go great with the Italian white wine Castle brought along. She catches sight of him out of the corner of eye as he strolls into the kitchen.

"Hey you're just in time," she says turning towards him. "I'll grab us some glasses and pour us some wine." Although right now she wishes they had something stronger to drink. She goes to the cabinet and then mentally curses when she realizes her father doesn't have any wine glasses up here. She sighs, opening up the cabinet, and luckily finds some plastic cups. She grabs two, then recovers the wine from the fridge and pours them some.

They sit down to eat and there is an uncomfortable silence that settles over them, tension in the air so thick you could cut it with a knife. He's not the least bit happy about being here. After everything that's happened, the last thing he wanted to do was take a weekend trip with her. But he agreed to come up here. Why? He doesn't know. He wants to forgive her, but right now he just can't. The wound she caused to his heart is still too fresh and raw. He doesn't understand how she could have been willing to throw away the past year for some damn job. He thought things were going well, and had wracked his brain trying to figure just where the hell things had gone wrong and how the hell he had missed the signs.

"So when does Alexis leave for Costa Rica?" she asks, finally breaking the silence while twirling the noodles around her fork.

"Next week," he replies, taking a bite of food.

"I bet she's really excited."

"Yeah. Yeah she is."

She takes a bite of food as silence yet again falls between them, and this time as she looks over at him, she watches him for moment before she speaks again. "I guess you're wondering why I asked you to come up here with me." He looks up at her then she nods slightly and continues. "We've been together for over a year now, but we have yet to talk about where we're going in this relationship. And it's time we talk. And I figured this would be the best place, here. It's just us. No chance of a murder interrupting us or any other distractions."

"Are you sure? I mean for all you know there could be a homicidal maniac wielding a machete lurking out there in the woods," he quips.

"Castle, stop," she says narrowing her eyes at him.

"What?"

"Stop trying to change the subject," she shoots back, a little harsher than she intended.

"I'm not trying to change the subject."

"Yes you are. You always do when I try to have a serious conversation with you."

"I do not."

"_Really?"_ she says giving him the look. "What about that time after the Vaughn case when I asked you where we were going and you said "the bedroom" and how about that time-"

He sighs heavily, his shoulders slump. "Okay fine. Look what do you want from me?"

"I want you to talk to me." She says honestly. "I want to know where we're going in this relationship."

"I think I made it perfectly clear where I want this relationship to go when I proposed to you. Contrary to what _you _think, I didn't propose to you out of desperation. I've had that ring for over a month. And I was just waiting until the right moment."

"And you seriously thought that was the best moment?" she asks, because she can't believe that he honestly thought _that_ was the perfect moment.

"Yes. I mean no," he stumbles, then sighs, "Okay, maybe that wasn't the perfect moment."

"You think? I mean hell, Castle, I thought you were breaking up with me," she retorts.

"What why would you think?"

"Well what the hell was I supposed to think? You sure as hell didn't look happy to see me and then you're talking about wanting more and how we both deserve more."

"Well, I will admit that I was still angry with you."

And that had been another reason she had turned him down because she didn't want him angry with her. She wanted a proposal like she had seen in countless movies him down on one knee tears in his eyes, looking at her the way he looks at her when they're making love his eyes so blue and with a smile on his face.

"Look, I didn't need you to propose to me. I just needed to know that you were committed in this relationship."

He stares at her wide eyed, unable to believe she is actually questioning his commitment to her. How the hell she could question that after he had stayed by her side while she stood on a damn bomb?

"How the hell could you question my commitment?" he snaps back, with a cold steel gaze. "_I_ should be the one questioning _your_ commitment."

"_Seriously?"_

"Yes, I am serious. -You had drinks with Erik Vaughn and then you practically let him kiss you."

She groaned, could not believe he was bringing Erik Vaughn up again, now when, she would be perfectly happy if she never heard his name again. What she did was not something she was proud of, but she had apologized to Castle, so what more did he want from her?

"And then you go and interview for a job in another city. To me that shows you're not committed in this relationship."

She lets out a long, drawn-out sigh and lowers her head. "Castle," she says quietly.

"No. You know what save it," he says, getting up and heading for the door.

"Castle, where are you going?" she asks looking up at him.

"Out," se says, slamming the door behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- First off I would like to thank everyone who has Reviewed, Favorited, and Followed this story. The response to this story has been overwhelming, I never thought it would get this much of a response, *Hugs* to you all. Secondly there will be one more chapter after this which will be rated M. Thanks as always goes out to my amazing Beta Dmarx.**

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Castle**

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Sometimes I test your trust,  
Sometimes I don't know why your stayin with me,  
I'm hard to love, hard to love,  
Oh, I don't make it easy,

Hard To Love by Lee Brice

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Kate thinks about going after him, but decides against it, opting to let him cool down before trying to talk to him again. So she starts to clean up the kitchen and put the leftovers in the fridge, then heads to the bathroom to take a shower. Stepping into the shower, she rests her forehead against the cool tiles as the warm water cascades over her body. Castle was right, and she knows he was right. Her actions over the past month were not ones of someone who is committed. She wishes she could turn back time; she would've done things a hell of a lot differently. She would've been honest with Castle, told him about the job offer. She would have never allowed Erik Vaughn to get inside her head and make her doubt what she and Castle had.

She finishes up her shower and shuts off the water; she towels off and dries her hair. She heads to the bedroom to find Castle changing out of his clothes and slipping on his boxers and an old t-shirt.

"Castle-"she starts while slipping on her pajamas.

"I'm really tired right now Kate," he says, not even looking at her as he climbs into bed.

She sighs heavily before climbing in next to him as he rolls onto his side facing away from her. She stares mindlessly up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. How could she be so stupid and selfish? She wishes there was some book or article out there that would tell her how to fix all of this because she has no clue how to do it.

She must have drifted off to sleep at some point because she soon wakes to the pale dim gray light of dawn, slivers of light snaking their way through the blinds, casting shadows over the room. She rolls over onto her back and glances at Castle, who is sprawled out on his stomach, face mushed into his pillow, snoring loudly. She huffs and throws the cover back and slides out of bed, knowing she won't be able to fall back to sleep so she might as well face the day.

The hardwood floor is cool beneath her bare feet as she pads her way down the hall to the front door. She slips on her pair of flip flops before opening the door, and steps out onto the front porch, quietly shutting the door behind her so as not to wake Castle. She breaths in the cool fresh spring air.

She makes her way down to the lake and takes a seat in one of the wooden lawn chairs that sits near the edge. The sun has just begun to peak up over the horizon, casting bright rays over the landscape, the sky a myriad of soft reds, oranges, and blues. It all takes her back to the last time she was here, that summer two years ago, and her hand instinctively moves up to her chest. Whenever she couldn't sleep she would always come out here and sit and watch the sun come up. It had helped calm and relax her, especially on those mornings when she had awoken from nightmare.

She closes her eyes, and revels in the quietness, apart from the chirping of birds. She opens her eyes and notices how the sun hits the water at an angle making it shimmer and sparkle.

She pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around her knees, basking in the sun's warmth. Her mind drifts back to the one question that has been nagging at her all week; how could he want to marry her? She doesn't understand it. After lying to him and continuously not letting him in, he still wants to marry her, even though he deserves better. He deserves someone who isn't fucked up like her.

She doesn't know how long she stays like this; sitting here staring absent- mindedly out over the lake, lost in her thoughts. But she finally decides to head back in and make some coffee and once again try to make amends for her mistakes.

When Castle walks into the kitchen, he is surprised to see her there, sitting on the kitchen counter, her long legs dangling over the edge. She offers him a cup of coffee with an apologetic smile. He hesitates for a moment before taking it, steps back and leans against the sink.

"I'm sorry," she murmurs, ducking her head and allowing her hair to fall over her face. "I've made a lot of mistakes, and I wish I could go back and change things…" She looks up over at him, but he still won't look at her. He just keeps his eyes trained on the floor. "I never meant to hurt you." He looks up at her then seeks out her gaze, and he sees the sincerity in her hazel eyes. "What happened with Vaughn was-was stupid."

He looks at her then, their eyes meet, "Well it's partly my fault,"

"Yeah but Castle I never should have fell for his charm, but he just started questioning me about our relationship and I let him get into my head." She bites her bottom lip, "And that job, I never really wanted it."

"I find that hard to believe," he scoffs, sitting his cup down on the counter.

"The old me wanted that job, not the person I am now." She hangs her head, she grows quiet and he waits her out, "I got scared, Castle. What we have is something real and that scares the hell out of me, and so I allowed myself to revert back to old habits."

Silence falls between them, neither one knowing what to say. "I've been scared too," he says quietly after a moment, "I've been so scared of messing this up; afraid that if I push you, you'll run so I've just been cruising along and following your lead."

She slides off the counter and moves over to stand in front him, touches his arm reassuringly, "Hey, I'm not going to run." But she can tell by the look on his face that he doesn't believe her, and she drops her head, sighing. "I wish there was some way…I could prove it to you."

"Move in with me," he blurts out.

Her head snaps up, "What?"

"Move in with me." He repeats.

She locks eyes with him and can tell he is serious about this. "Okay," she finally manages to get out. "Okay," she repeats a little more emphatically. Her lips curve into a smile and for the first time in over a week she sees genuine smile spread across his face, and when she looks into his eyes she finds a softness to them.

She leans in slowly and kisses him hesitantly, but unlike before he doesn't pull away this time. She pulls back, looks at him, his eyes dark with desire, and she leans back in capturing his lips once again, but this time in a deep, long passionate kiss. She shudders as he pulls her in closer, his hand slips underneath her shirt, roaming over bare skin. His mouth opens under hers allowing her tongue to slip in, a low moan escapes from deep within her throat as her hips roll against his.

She pulls back suddenly, "Castle we can't do this," she says breathlessly.

"Why?" he asks, brows knit in confusion.

"I am not having sex in my father's kitchen."

He glances around the room and nods. "Right,"

"C'mon," she says with a sly smile, grabbing his hand and tugging him toward the bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N **Here it is the last chapter, and I want to thank everyone for sticking with me on this. Thanks as always goes to my amazing Beta DMarx for all her help on this fic.

**Disclaimer: **I Do Not Own Castle

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They barely make it to the door before he can no longer resist the urge, and soon clothes are shed and he is pushing up her against the door (seriously, what is it with them and doors?), the wooden door cool against her bare back. He looks into her eyes for a moment, the normally bright hazel iris now hazy and dark with desire, and then his mouth is on hers in an instant, and his tongue quickly claims her mouth, bringing forth a deep moan from the back of his throat as her nails dig into his back.

She wraps one leg around him as he thrusts into her hard and fast, a week's worth of hurt, anger, and betrayal spilling out. She clenches around him and her hands move up to fist in his hair as she rests her head in the crook of his neck. Oh fuck, it's been too long since they have done this. His name spills out of her mouth in breathy pants. Her other leg goes weak, but his hand slides down to grip her ass, hoisting her back up. Her breath hitches as she gets closer to the edge, her world fogging around the edges as her hips rock in rhythm with his. With a deep gravelly moan, he releases into her, his body going limp, his forehead coming to rest against her shoulder his ragged breaths hot against her already flushed skin.

They manage to finally make to the bed, collapsing in a heap of tangled limbs on top of the sheets, her body draped over his chest. He bands an arm across her lower back, his fingers tracing over the slope of her spine. The tension that has lingered between them for the past week is gone, replaced by relief and a sense of new found hope. He knows this relationship won't be easy, but then again, nothing has ever been easy between them. They will just have to take things day by day and find their way.

"Why?" she murmurs as she pushes off of him and sits up.

He props himself up on his elbows. "Why what?" he asks, brows knit in confusion.

He observes her for a moment, can see her struggling with whatever it is she is trying to tell him.

"Why do you want to marry me? After everything I've done. I mean, I continuously lie to you and shut you out." She casts her eyes down, her voice quiet.

He pushes up so that he's sitting. "Nobody's perfect Kate. We all have our flaws. And when you love someone, _truly _love someone, that means accepting them for who they are flaws and all." He seeks out her eyes, waits for her to look at him. "And sometimes those flaws might drive me a little mad, but despite that, you are extraordinary, and not to mention hot," he says the corners of his mouth quirking upward.

She rolls her eyes at him, lips curving into a small smile.

He continues, this time his voice taking on a more sincere tone. "On a serious note though. You are the love of my life, Kate, and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone except you."

Her heart swells and she can feel tears welling up in her eyes as she looks into his, so blue, so deep and loving, and it makes her heart flutter. She has never had anyone love her the way he does. And to think she almost threw this all away.

"I love you," she says, as she leans over and cups his jaw and presses her lips to his. She pulls back rests her forehead against his. "I love you," she whispers.

Later she drags him outside; they stroll leisurely down a trail that runs along the edge of the lake. The mid afternoon sun is glaring, the sky is clear, revealing a wide expanse of pale blue. The leaves rustle faintly as a gentle breeze blows through. She reaches out, takes his hand in hers, entwining their fingers together. He stops, she glances up at him, and her lips widen in a broad smile. She sees the happiness and joy on his face and it warms her heart. They start walking again.

This weekend is going better than she ever thought it could. She knows they still have a long ways to go, and it won't always be easy, but at least they're on the same page now.

As they continue to stroll along, she can't help but think of their future, a wedding, her father walking her down the aisle. A ring on her left hand. It seems almost surreal to her at times.

"Do you want kids?" she asks suddenly, the words rolling off her tongue before she realizes it. He stops and turns back toward her. "I mean, I know you said you wanted to keep your options open but-"

"I only want them if you do. Do you want kids?"

She opens her mouth to answer but nothing comes out, so she closes it. She lets go of his hand and walks over to the edge of the lake, her back to him. _Kids._ It is something she has never really thought about. Would she even be a good mother?

She turns back toward him. "I don't know, Castle," she answers quietly, shaking her head. "I've never really given it much thought." She grows quiet then, lowers her head, but after a moment she looks up at him again. "And what happens if we have kids and something happens to me. I don't our kids to have to go through what I went through."

He steps toward her, closing the gap between them. He takes her hand in his, she looks up at him. "Hey, nothing is going to happen to you." His voice is calm, reassuring.

She shakes her head. "You don't know that."

He nods. "You're right, I don't. But as long as I'm your partner, I am going to do my damndest to keep you safe," he says with smile, and he watches as a small smile forms on her lips. "Look we don't have to decide right now."

She nods, "Okay. Wait till after the wedding to decide?"

His lips widen in a broad smile. _Wedding._ They aren't engaged. Yet. But to know she is already thinking about a wedding makes his heart swell with happiness. He leans in and captures her lips with his in a brief but deep kiss. "Okay," he murmurs against her lips.

They end the day end curled up on the swing on the front porch, just as the sun begins to set, his arm draped over her back and her head resting on his shoulder.

"You know it's really beautiful up here. We should come up here more often."

"Well we just might," she says with a smile.

Silence falls between them then as they both revel in the quietness.

"So where do we go from here?" he asks after a moment, tentatively.

She doesn't answer at first, "We continue what we started here. Working on communicating better since that's how this whole mess got started," she finally says.

She wants to promise him no more secrets, no more lies, but she can't. She knows that she'll probably slip up again. It's who she is, what she's always done, and old habits are hard to break.

"But as for now, how 'bout we continue what we started this morning?" she says, a flirtatious smile on her face as she pulls his face to hers, brushing her lips against his.

"I would like that," he replies back as he pulls her in closer, kissing her deeply.

"You would?" she asks coyly as she kisses him back.

"Mhmm," he hums against her lips.

She leans over and whispers into his ear, "I'll get the ice and you meet me in the bedroom."

And with that she's gone, leaving him there slack- jawed on the swing. It takes him a moment to come to his senses and then he's darting for the door. Best makeup sex ever.

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Thoughts?


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